Philosophy is interesting but at times it makes my head buzz, and this is one of those times. But I didn't need to think too deeply today during my stay at the Food Bank. A lot of manual labor presented itself to me. I befriended the dumpster today, actually. Fed it about 100 pounds of moldy corn, 100 pounds of frozen old salad mixes, and 150 pounds of frozen moldy bread. Though considering what I fed it last week, today was just a little snack. Last week, I helped in throwing 1500 pounds of meat. Let it digest for a week under the consistently 90+ degree sunlight, and voila, your nostrils cry for mercy. Yum... I just ate chicken for dinner today.
I volunteer at the food bank because of various reasons. One, I get fit. Two, I meet interesting people. Three, I get experience talking to new people (I'm a bit shy and not indifferent when I hear the word social anxiety). Four, this hopefully gives me experience in volunteering when I plan to do community service down in Atlanta. Five, I can jot my hours so I could show medical admissions committees that I do, in fact, volunteer and do it a lot.
I volunteer for two hours Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, 9:30-11:30 AM. I thank my parents who have the heart to wake up that early and drive me there and back .
I feel bad, almost guilty, about throwing so much food into the dumpster, though I've heard rumors of maggots and flies hailing me as a Mother Teresa of their kind. I wish that I could somehow arrange a compost dumpster to pick up old, moldy food, so it can be made into soil. That would be great. I'm going to Few Hall at Emory, and that is a living learning community that emphasizes Sustainability. I think going to the food bank and seeing all the wasted food has given me more of an appreciation of efforts by other people in making the world a greener place.
Alas, nervousness spews slowly from within again thinking about college. A lot of people I've heard either directly or indirectly through videos are excited, thrilled, even ecstatic for some about going to college, but honestly I'm not. I'm just anxious. But that I am honest with myself will, I believe, help me a lot when I actually acclimate at Emory.
Below is an image of an audacious surfer conquering a man eating wave.
I like this picture because it depicts my hopes of who I want to be. I want to be fearless like that guy, able to look death in the face and tell him, "look, I sure don't want to get hurt, but I will be willing to do that if that's in the way of doing what I want to do." If you magnify the picture, the surfer is giving the middle finger. I admire that too. To me, that symbolizes his being himself: he doesn't let what other people think of him affect what he wants to do. To be myself is one of life goals.
I have more respect for doctors now because I understand better how much hard work they put in as a college student in order to try to get into med school, their diligence paying off after they got accepted. I'm working on the chemistry modules that are going to help me be prepared for Gen Chem 141. It's a lot of work: writing notes, reviewing, memorizing, doing actual problems, but the main thing that's getting me going is my goal of getting into med school and my dream of wanting to become a doctor. That mindset gives me more discipline, strength, and motivation.
I don't like oxidation reduction reactions.... And today, for some bizarre reason, they told me to take another assessment that tested what I already had learned. Lucky for me, I couldn't find the notes I had ridden in the beginning of the summer
:(. Saturday is going to be one busy day for my mind as I try to rehash the things I memorized.
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